Roller Coaster. Thats what I imagined during my 4 am trip this morning. The inevitable snoozing Salvadorans crammed into a microbus on a windy mountain hill. They´re dreaming of rollercoasters.
I had my own rollercoaster thoughts bouncing around in my brains. After spending a weekend traveling across the country (Perquin, Morazan with my Pato followed shortly by some time in Atiqizaya, Ahuachapan with the other feathered enigma) I felt like I had been going in ridiculous circles.
What the hell am I doing in El Salvador, anyway? Do I have my priorities in order? Shouldn´t I have been in my site all weekend, instead of crossing the country, dancing in the mountains and then going to a western pueblo, where I felt like I was running into big cultural and language barriers, over and over again. I don´t know.
Ok, so...
Here´s the thing about the bird.
Initially: Curious to see what this loon was all about, at least for the sake of knowing. Nothing to worry about.
A little later: Could be something to worry about. I´m going to throw out some cliche, but more or less accurate words to clear it up - kind, respectable, magnetic and hilarious.
Now... For this visit, all those nice adjectives were in full force for the duration of day one. BUT, Day two... well, I felt pretty lame. Like an idiot, like a pain, like I should have gone home much, much sooner.
So, if I had to guess what the next step would be, my guess will be a mutual fizzle, because I don´t like feeling like an idiot and he doesn´t seem to like listening to me speak so much. haha. Which is kind of a problem for both of us. Maybe it was just a blip, but either way, I´m not going to worry about it.
All I know is that I feel good back in my house, where the pan is integral and the coffee is black. I am super excited for a week full of useful work. A women´s business group, an ecocina demonstration, and an Asamblea General? BLAMMO!
Now I just have to write a damn grant... without my computer. Wish me luck
With love!
Jessica
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Where am I?
Still home sweet home, indeed.
Starting sometime between 7 and 8 p.m. every evening, I am ridiculously bored.
If it is raining, I can scurry around, moving guacales to catch the streams of water pouring from my roof into my house.
If my host family dogs have decided to spend the night on my side of town on my patio, I can spend a few minutes talking to them and throwing meaningless threats at them. We all know I won't hit them, so they don't even stir.
If my computer wasn't broken, I could use that to watch a movie, listen to podcasts or edit photos. But it's screwed up, too.
The books I have in my house are cien por ciento bad. Books in english here can be expensive, so I've been trying to rotate through various selections from the Peace Corps office. They all suck. I just finished a terrible "travel tale" because I had nothing else to do. Hey, buddy, just because you decided to leave your super senior year at university, 7 credits short of graduation and move to mexico to do blow and screw tourists, doesn't mean you're qualified to write a book.
But I digress.
I finally broke out the Polymer clay my mom sent me some months back.
I made a super badass ring. I put it in the oven, and it bubbled, melted and smoked.
Damn.
I re-made it.
Same thing.
So I called my mom. She made a few suggestions, but footnoted her ideas with "make sure to clean out the toaster oven and air your house out really well, that plastic is not good to be breathing in."
I told her I would. But I kind of laughed in my head.
I kept it to myself that just earlier that day I was standing in my yard, putting matches to a plastic bag of toilet paper, a churritos bag and various other pieces of debris that people threw into my yard.
I also didn't mention that my fire was a tenth of the size of the fires of my neighbors, and that they don't make it a point to pack all the plastic and paper garbage they can into the Sonsonate bus terminal garbage bins, like I do.
Nor did I mention that damn near every cooking fire in this country is started with a little wood and a whole lot of plastic or styrofoam.
Breathe it in. Deep.
There is no point in mentioning any of that. Because my mom is still right. The toxic residue from the clay probably should be scrubbed out, and my windows should have been open. I think it is just easy to lose sight of what makes sense when you live in a way that forces you to do and accept things that are absolutely lunatic. - burning trash, pouring bleach and detergent into rivers, not refrigerating your eggs, and drinking cafe listo, to name a few.
I finally got a ring to come out right. And a few hairpins, too. I shook my fists at the dogs, locked my gate and went to bed, listening to the rain hitting the bottom of a guacal, and wanting to tear apart whatever lame book I am subjecting myself to until I can fall asleep at last.
Starting sometime between 7 and 8 p.m. every evening, I am ridiculously bored.
If it is raining, I can scurry around, moving guacales to catch the streams of water pouring from my roof into my house.
If my host family dogs have decided to spend the night on my side of town on my patio, I can spend a few minutes talking to them and throwing meaningless threats at them. We all know I won't hit them, so they don't even stir.
If my computer wasn't broken, I could use that to watch a movie, listen to podcasts or edit photos. But it's screwed up, too.
The books I have in my house are cien por ciento bad. Books in english here can be expensive, so I've been trying to rotate through various selections from the Peace Corps office. They all suck. I just finished a terrible "travel tale" because I had nothing else to do. Hey, buddy, just because you decided to leave your super senior year at university, 7 credits short of graduation and move to mexico to do blow and screw tourists, doesn't mean you're qualified to write a book.
But I digress.
I finally broke out the Polymer clay my mom sent me some months back.
I made a super badass ring. I put it in the oven, and it bubbled, melted and smoked.
Damn.
I re-made it.
Same thing.
So I called my mom. She made a few suggestions, but footnoted her ideas with "make sure to clean out the toaster oven and air your house out really well, that plastic is not good to be breathing in."
I told her I would. But I kind of laughed in my head.
I kept it to myself that just earlier that day I was standing in my yard, putting matches to a plastic bag of toilet paper, a churritos bag and various other pieces of debris that people threw into my yard.
I also didn't mention that my fire was a tenth of the size of the fires of my neighbors, and that they don't make it a point to pack all the plastic and paper garbage they can into the Sonsonate bus terminal garbage bins, like I do.
Nor did I mention that damn near every cooking fire in this country is started with a little wood and a whole lot of plastic or styrofoam.
Breathe it in. Deep.
There is no point in mentioning any of that. Because my mom is still right. The toxic residue from the clay probably should be scrubbed out, and my windows should have been open. I think it is just easy to lose sight of what makes sense when you live in a way that forces you to do and accept things that are absolutely lunatic. - burning trash, pouring bleach and detergent into rivers, not refrigerating your eggs, and drinking cafe listo, to name a few.
I finally got a ring to come out right. And a few hairpins, too. I shook my fists at the dogs, locked my gate and went to bed, listening to the rain hitting the bottom of a guacal, and wanting to tear apart whatever lame book I am subjecting myself to until I can fall asleep at last.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Rain on My Parade
Well, as usual things have been just insane here in The Little Coconut.
I have been amping up my community time since I moved into my new pad. My Spanish is getting better - except for a disastrous comedor experience with Danny Clarahan in Sonsonate - people are finally "tu-ing" me, and my house is full of watermelons that my neighbors and friends have gifted to me. I've been doing house visits here and there, and despite the initial awkwardness, they feel good.
The other day I had about 7 visitors over throughout the day. If I could just get those jovenes on the corner to not make kissy sounds at me when I pass, life would be 100 percent.
And then it happened.
"Your 'tio' (the codename my host family and I have for my devilish counterpart) was over yesterday. And he was talking about you." My Tio was talking mad smack, turns out. "Los de Cuerpo de Paz... He said, do nothing. The guy that was up in Jujutla or Juayua, he just wandered around, gallavanting, never worked... Looks like we have the same problem on our hands." Ben and milena defended me, saying that I go to everything, that I participate and talk to everyone.
"Naaaaahh," he said, "you're just defending her because you consider her family."
So, I HAD been having a great morning - the details of which I shall get to shortly - and then I heard all this, and I wanted to cry for the first time since I've been here. How dare that so and so say those things, he just wants me to throw money into his pockets and give things to the people he finds worthy.
I got home, heated up my tortilla, fed my one remaining bird, and decided thoroughly that my tio can lump it. I'll show him. I made a mental list of all the things I had done that day and I have to say, I'm not doing nothing. I decided to address the expectations and role of Cuerpo de Paz at the next ADESCO meeting. That jerk.
Va.
I have been amping up my community time since I moved into my new pad. My Spanish is getting better - except for a disastrous comedor experience with Danny Clarahan in Sonsonate - people are finally "tu-ing" me, and my house is full of watermelons that my neighbors and friends have gifted to me. I've been doing house visits here and there, and despite the initial awkwardness, they feel good.
The other day I had about 7 visitors over throughout the day. If I could just get those jovenes on the corner to not make kissy sounds at me when I pass, life would be 100 percent.
And then it happened.
"Your 'tio' (the codename my host family and I have for my devilish counterpart) was over yesterday. And he was talking about you." My Tio was talking mad smack, turns out. "Los de Cuerpo de Paz... He said, do nothing. The guy that was up in Jujutla or Juayua, he just wandered around, gallavanting, never worked... Looks like we have the same problem on our hands." Ben and milena defended me, saying that I go to everything, that I participate and talk to everyone.
"Naaaaahh," he said, "you're just defending her because you consider her family."
So, I HAD been having a great morning - the details of which I shall get to shortly - and then I heard all this, and I wanted to cry for the first time since I've been here. How dare that so and so say those things, he just wants me to throw money into his pockets and give things to the people he finds worthy.
I got home, heated up my tortilla, fed my one remaining bird, and decided thoroughly that my tio can lump it. I'll show him. I made a mental list of all the things I had done that day and I have to say, I'm not doing nothing. I decided to address the expectations and role of Cuerpo de Paz at the next ADESCO meeting. That jerk.
Va.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Home Sweet Home, or Making a Nest
The Kids playing with the glow sticks (sent by mom back home)
Part two
Casi Angeles
My Spare room
My Kitchen, messy
My Bedroom, Messy
My Living Room
From the "yard"
The View from the Ground
The View from the Porch
I've got a bunch of Bananas!
This is what they look like...
My lime tree bears fruit
Well, thats the tour of my new house. It's really big, but I dig it, big time. Fifty dollars a month in rent, and today I got my first electricity bill, $2.95. Killer.
Living alone has changed the experience here pretty thoroughly. Parts I like - cooking my own food, having electricity, privacy, drop-in visits from neighbors, living in the calle principal, and parts I don't like - too much alone time, not having the pots and pans to cook my own beans still, and having the occasional day where I spend my hours just trying to kill time before I can justify going to bed.
Such is life.
Such is life.
But the good news is I have made some new friends on this end of town, and my friend Milena has broken her promise of "never coming to visit me" and has been by many times.
The other day I heard the sad news that one of my first amigos here in El Cocalito jumped ship and is on his way for the USA. I hardly could believe it, as he had a steady income, a family of three young kids and a loving wife. It came out of nowhere. "He had some troubles," my friends say. I got a text message from him the other night from Guatemala. He really is going. I wished him well, and warned him that the USA is full of Gringas Pasmadas, a claim he negated, saying that all the Gringas Pasmadas went to El Salvador. I am really going to miss having him around to joke and shoot the shit with, but I hope that his trip goes smoothly.
In other news, I had a date with a Salvadoran this morning. It started an hour late, and more or less was successful. I will write a whole blog entry on these developments just as soon as I can stop laughing.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Ooohh La La!
Things finally got BETTER!
After about a week long bummer fest, things in El Salvador have finally, finally, fallen into place.
Some frustrations came up with my ADESCO members. They're really protective over me, to a fault, and were trying to take the lead on getting me a house. They had chosen a little, dark, no electricity, no water craphole. (Literally, the latrine was a nearly full craphole in the ground).
I vetoed, and found myself a spacious, electroded, superpad (photos to come once I have it looking better). So far, all but one of the bats have moved out, and I've patched the roof up nicely.
My friend Nancy came over to help me hacer limpieza, and she we shared some hot toast and jelly with icy Salva cola on the front porch. She informed me of the tasty treasure trove in my yard. Cocos, limes, jocotes, chiles, mangos and bananas (which are about a week or two from being ready to pick and eat)
That, plus the garden beds I plan on putting in once I'm a little more settled will make for some good eating.
My host family has been really moody about my leaving. Despite my insistance that it is just as far from my house to theirs as it is from theirs to mine, they say it is just way too far for them, but not so far for me. Pish Posh. I guess I am being a little moody too.
There has been some chambre concerning the love life of yours truly here in both El Cocalito and all interested parties of La Barra de Santiago. My salvadoran friends and family want so badly for my life to be like a telenovela (as do I, on occasion) that they really like to embellish the littlest things. But that is a story I will save for another post.
With that, here is wishing a happy retirement to my Aunt Kathleen, and speedy recovery to Aunt Judy.
With Love.
After about a week long bummer fest, things in El Salvador have finally, finally, fallen into place.
Some frustrations came up with my ADESCO members. They're really protective over me, to a fault, and were trying to take the lead on getting me a house. They had chosen a little, dark, no electricity, no water craphole. (Literally, the latrine was a nearly full craphole in the ground).
I vetoed, and found myself a spacious, electroded, superpad (photos to come once I have it looking better). So far, all but one of the bats have moved out, and I've patched the roof up nicely.
My friend Nancy came over to help me hacer limpieza, and she we shared some hot toast and jelly with icy Salva cola on the front porch. She informed me of the tasty treasure trove in my yard. Cocos, limes, jocotes, chiles, mangos and bananas (which are about a week or two from being ready to pick and eat)
That, plus the garden beds I plan on putting in once I'm a little more settled will make for some good eating.
My host family has been really moody about my leaving. Despite my insistance that it is just as far from my house to theirs as it is from theirs to mine, they say it is just way too far for them, but not so far for me. Pish Posh. I guess I am being a little moody too.
There has been some chambre concerning the love life of yours truly here in both El Cocalito and all interested parties of La Barra de Santiago. My salvadoran friends and family want so badly for my life to be like a telenovela (as do I, on occasion) that they really like to embellish the littlest things. But that is a story I will save for another post.
With that, here is wishing a happy retirement to my Aunt Kathleen, and speedy recovery to Aunt Judy.
With Love.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
A Milestone.
Things in El Salvador have been pissing me off for the last week or so.
Instead of dwelling on cheats, scandals, chambre, and my stint wading through thigh high flood water in the streets of El Cocalito, I decided to pay tribute to the fact that a few weeks ago, I filled my first journal, ever. I'll for sure go into greater detail on all the crummy bits later, when they've -hopefully- come to a happy conclusion.
But for now, a recap on ¨Journal June 2009 to June 2010.¨
(which was gifted to me by Amanda Patt at our graduation.)
December 20, 2009
"I can't beliveve my life right now. I love so much of it....
It kills me when my warmest, funniest, most loving moments with people now are punctuated by phrases life 'I can't believe you're leaving,' 'I'll really miss you,' and 'Will I ever laugh this hard again for two years?'"
Jan 19, 2010
How long will it take for a snail to get to the East coast?
Jan 20, 2010
It's good to know that I still find him as bland and intellectually uninteresting as I did when we finally broke up...
Jan 21, 2010
I'm paraphrasing here, but he said something like, "Well, Jessica, We'll just have to get together soon, so we can end out friendship." Alex Leffler, you put it so well.
Feb 4, 2010 (El Salvador)
I'm already tired of being in this big group. Chatter-Chatter....
Feb 6 2010
Recap: Coffee, scrambled eggs, cheese, beans, 1 tortilla, and a plate of fried bananas.
Feb 12, 2010
I ate a whole fried fish, with a face.
Feb 21, 2010
Got on the 161, started to go, bus runs over the cobrador.
March 7, 2010
The sun is an agressive force.
March 14, 2010
I made a mountain of popcorn and some serious faux pas with plastic bags.
March 30
Rough one. Grandpa passed away this morning in his house. The service is on Friday and I feel bad about missing it... I feel bad that I won't be there, or that I wasn't there.
April 3
My host grandpa brought me some cough syrup he made out of some plant. It is the exact color and temperature as pee.
May 7, 2010
... and then I have to pretend to laugh, over and over again.
June 20, 2010
Oh shit, June's "over," it's almost Christmas.
Instead of dwelling on cheats, scandals, chambre, and my stint wading through thigh high flood water in the streets of El Cocalito, I decided to pay tribute to the fact that a few weeks ago, I filled my first journal, ever. I'll for sure go into greater detail on all the crummy bits later, when they've -hopefully- come to a happy conclusion.
But for now, a recap on ¨Journal June 2009 to June 2010.¨
(which was gifted to me by Amanda Patt at our graduation.)
December 20, 2009
"I can't beliveve my life right now. I love so much of it....
It kills me when my warmest, funniest, most loving moments with people now are punctuated by phrases life 'I can't believe you're leaving,' 'I'll really miss you,' and 'Will I ever laugh this hard again for two years?'"
Jan 19, 2010
How long will it take for a snail to get to the East coast?
Jan 20, 2010
It's good to know that I still find him as bland and intellectually uninteresting as I did when we finally broke up...
Jan 21, 2010
I'm paraphrasing here, but he said something like, "Well, Jessica, We'll just have to get together soon, so we can end out friendship." Alex Leffler, you put it so well.
Feb 4, 2010 (El Salvador)
I'm already tired of being in this big group. Chatter-Chatter....
Feb 6 2010
Started the day with the worlds most gigantic breakfast of all time.
Recap: Coffee, scrambled eggs, cheese, beans, 1 tortilla, and a plate of fried bananas.
Feb 12, 2010
I ate a whole fried fish, with a face.
Feb 21, 2010
Got on the 161, started to go, bus runs over the cobrador.
***
The Communal Kids swarmed us with grimey, sticky, cheesy hugs.
***
Friday, nothing happened. Oh, except Queso nailed Dan C. in the junk. Hilarious. Crazy lil Queso.March 7, 2010
The sun is an agressive force.
March 14, 2010
I made a mountain of popcorn and some serious faux pas with plastic bags.
March 30
Rough one. Grandpa passed away this morning in his house. The service is on Friday and I feel bad about missing it... I feel bad that I won't be there, or that I wasn't there.
April 3
My host grandpa brought me some cough syrup he made out of some plant. It is the exact color and temperature as pee.
May 7, 2010
... and then I have to pretend to laugh, over and over again.
June 20, 2010
Oh shit, June's "over," it's almost Christmas.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
El Salvador Can Be Beautiful
Leashed.. because turtles... are... fast?
That turtle, from the river by my house, is not long for this world.Brian is not the nicest of pet owners.
La Barra de Santiago. Which I live 10 minutes from. 
Fly Hat
Happy Birthday, dutch yodler.
Thats neato.
Dan Hinkle... the morning after two bottles of tinto andwhat must have been some hearty giggling
The view from Vista del Lago, in Suchitoto.
Beauty. Mercury, poo, and chemical invested beauty.
I hit my breaking point this last week... It is still lingering, but I took a walk down photo memory lane and that made me feel better. I can't hate a place where such great people and such potentially great adventures are just around the corner. I hope.
I hit my breaking point this last week... It is still lingering, but I took a walk down photo memory lane and that made me feel better. I can't hate a place where such great people and such potentially great adventures are just around the corner. I hope.
PS,
ahem... also, I know that not every one of my lovely friends and family members reads every one of my blog entries... but if you do, don't hesitate to comment.
Like the letters, packages, emails and fb messages, your comments are like... pennies... from heaven? Or maybe like little arrows of support? Positive vibes? Whichever term you prefer, they mean a lot. :) So thanks for all of it already.
Like the letters, packages, emails and fb messages, your comments are like... pennies... from heaven? Or maybe like little arrows of support? Positive vibes? Whichever term you prefer, they mean a lot. :) So thanks for all of it already.
Love you!
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