Dios Guarde.

What is my deal?

I really have few ideas...

Tal vez having to see the 16-year-old dead body shot thorough the head on the sidewalk of Ave Las Mercedes is to blame, but I think that was just one of the things to add to the list of things that are currently bringing me down. (I realized yesterday, that I've never traveled to another country in the first world... And I always see people killed by terribly violent means. I would like to try Italy... Ireland... somewhere a bit more peaceful.)

My March Melancholy hasn't let down, even though we're now very much in April.

Please, allow me this rant.

I haven't been able to make soap... still. Every attempt has fallen flat... just when I think I have it down, the damn stuff separates, and I'm left with nothing but rust colored water, oil and shattered dreams.

It is getting SO HOT. From experience I know that this will only last till June-ish, but the constant sweaty film and stink is just... demasiado. Houses of brick with roofs of tin are ovens...

But really, if we want to get to the base of the problem...

One of the blessings of the Peace Corps life is that I learned (finally) to be still, to be comfortable alone, to be able to fill my time when just hanging out with friends whenever I want is not a possibility. But, now we're at one year, and I've passed the ability to be comfortable in solitude, and now? I'm just lonely.

This is the part where some of my friends will do the wink wink - nudge nudge... "Looonellyyy, eh? heh." But it isn't like that. I just putz around and do my thing, but, de vez en cuando, I wish I weren't doing it alone. I might actually be going crazy, I've been talking to both myself and my gallina an awful lot more, lately.

The plus-ish side is that there have been several other occasions in my life where I was a lot lonelier than I am now. So I guess I should just put up, or shut up (as in stop yammering to my pet chicken...)

In work related news, my youth group (my favorite 15 5th graders) are doing really good work, and we're getting geared up to start drawing our world map. Tomorrow we're making rice crispy treats, tie dying t-shirts, and watching a movie... It's the last day of class till the end of the vacations... (woo!)

My other 5th graders (the 55 I teach art to) are diabolical. We're making volcanoes this week... and after that? I think I'm bringing this little project to a close.