It hasn't been THAT long...

My Youth Group on my front porch, eating popcorn, cereal/marshmellow treats
and watching New Moon... they picked it out, man.

Photo attack of Haydee, aka "Comadre"

"Bienvenidos a mi Bautizo" Ricardito celebrating his baptism.

Mi "Host" Family.

Mi Pareja and dancing partner, Katarine, also "Celebrating" the baptism of her brother.

The procession in La Barra.

Semana Santa is OVER. I was sick for most of it, with a fever, body ache and tummy issues. Made hearing about the DOUBLE meals my brother and nephew got to enjoy on Easter just a little more bittersweet.

On Monday I made it to the opening day of Las Fiestas Patronales in La Barra de Santiago. In the morning I went to the mass with Haydee, and we baptized my new godson, little Ricardito.

Then we spent the rest of the day just enjoying the festivities and the evening being the creepers outside of the dance, watching everyone shake their stuff.

It was pretty great.

My youth group has been working on our World Map, and it should be done sometime before the end of 2011. heh

Oh, in other news, the American Embassy in El Salvador posted their visit to my site and my project on Facebook.com You can check it out by clicking here.

FINALLY, I don't know if you remember, but I'll be turning 24 in less than a month...

and in a totally unrelated note, my address is "Cuerpo de Paz PCV Jessica Hiddleson/Colonia El Cocalito/Correos Cara Sucia/Ahuachapan/El Salvador C.A."

Just in case you were curious... :P

salu... paz.... hasta la proxima

A little bit of this, A little bit of that

Happy Semana Santa, dudes.

Well, May is upon us, but I'll get to that later.

The good news is that I have taken advantage of the week off from school to get some stuff done around the ol' hacienda.

Number one, I got really mad at my landlord, (he's such a punk of an old man) and long story short took matters into my own hands and tore down the ramshackle ramada he put up over my pila that I always hit my head on. Then I built a new one. And it's so spacious, and not bajita, and doesn't have cucas crawling around on it. It hasn't actually rained since I put it up, but I think my engineering will hold up against the rains... Fingers crossed.

Other good news, I spent yesterday morning stirring, and stirring, and stirring. Then Finally, there was soap. FINALLY. Six pounds of lard, 400 grams of caustic soda and two.5 pints of good ol H2O.

It should be ready to use in 3-4 weeks, and I am going to whip up another batch that is better for laundry in the next few days. Cross yo' dedos.

What else? Well, I guess I don't really have much else. I have been working on my map project and next week I will be working with my students to make posters and flyers about garbage and garbage management... Woop.

So, anyway. As I said, it's almost May now, and I don't know if you know this, but I'll be turning 24... Which is pretty crazy. 24, single, and no babies. Success! (Depending on how you measure success) :P

Salu, pues.

Hey

Everything is a little better now...

Just... so. you. know.


Happy Semana Santa!

Dios Guarde.

What is my deal?

I really have few ideas...

Tal vez having to see the 16-year-old dead body shot thorough the head on the sidewalk of Ave Las Mercedes is to blame, but I think that was just one of the things to add to the list of things that are currently bringing me down. (I realized yesterday, that I've never traveled to another country in the first world... And I always see people killed by terribly violent means. I would like to try Italy... Ireland... somewhere a bit more peaceful.)

My March Melancholy hasn't let down, even though we're now very much in April.

Please, allow me this rant.

I haven't been able to make soap... still. Every attempt has fallen flat... just when I think I have it down, the damn stuff separates, and I'm left with nothing but rust colored water, oil and shattered dreams.

It is getting SO HOT. From experience I know that this will only last till June-ish, but the constant sweaty film and stink is just... demasiado. Houses of brick with roofs of tin are ovens...

But really, if we want to get to the base of the problem...

One of the blessings of the Peace Corps life is that I learned (finally) to be still, to be comfortable alone, to be able to fill my time when just hanging out with friends whenever I want is not a possibility. But, now we're at one year, and I've passed the ability to be comfortable in solitude, and now? I'm just lonely.

This is the part where some of my friends will do the wink wink - nudge nudge... "Looonellyyy, eh? heh." But it isn't like that. I just putz around and do my thing, but, de vez en cuando, I wish I weren't doing it alone. I might actually be going crazy, I've been talking to both myself and my gallina an awful lot more, lately.

The plus-ish side is that there have been several other occasions in my life where I was a lot lonelier than I am now. So I guess I should just put up, or shut up (as in stop yammering to my pet chicken...)

In work related news, my youth group (my favorite 15 5th graders) are doing really good work, and we're getting geared up to start drawing our world map. Tomorrow we're making rice crispy treats, tie dying t-shirts, and watching a movie... It's the last day of class till the end of the vacations... (woo!)

My other 5th graders (the 55 I teach art to) are diabolical. We're making volcanoes this week... and after that? I think I'm bringing this little project to a close.

Boo hoo hoo

Dios Guarde

The contents of my blog for the last year have been pretty up-beat. Part of that would be due to the fact that when I was in a bad mood, I didn't blog, and the other part is because I have been pretty mellow and happy here in El Salvador.

Well, today, I am not in a very good mood. A lingering sense of frustration, restlessness, isolation and a lack of fulfillment have been really killing my buzz for the last few weeks.

Yet... one of my best tactics for getting over my frustration is stifled. What is it about this country or this job or this climate that makes it absolutely impossible for me to shed a single tear?

It's REALLY frustrating.

Sometimes, for me, the only remedy for that overwhelmed feeling is to let loose and howl. But alas, besides the five minute sniffly phone call when I found out that my grandfather passed away last year my cheeks have been like the Sahara.

Often, during the most trying moments of Peace Corps service, the appeal of La Yusa creeps up on me and settles at the forefront of my thoughts. Imagining various ways I could find myself magically back in Oregon within the next year has been a tempting day dream since early March.

During the two weeks I spent at home in December, I think I cried about 4 times. Three out of those four were for absolutely no reason at all. If nothing else, if I went home, at least I could blubber like a baby.

In this country there is a lot of bad... but you don't see people moping about it. The people don't go around crying over spilled leche, so maybe I'm just taking their social cue. They have it a lot worse than I do, too.

Watching and hearing dogs get destroyed by trucks, knowing that women and children are being abused, seeing malnourished kids, being told by strangers that I'm bien gordita, having men make lewd sexual gestures and comments to me, being a part of a community that, at times, seems absolutely indifferent to my existence, and feeling a general sense of "blah" about my projects... Those are the daily frustrations, and yet... I've got nothing. Maybe it's time to find someone with cable, and watch Extreme Makeover, Home Edition... that's never failed to make me cry before. If that doesn't do it, maybe nothing but my return p'al norte will.

Mid Service, Puchica.

If feels like just yesterday I was filling out stacks of medical paperwork, rushing around during finals of my last term of college getting to get all my appointments done before I lost my insurance...

Now I'm in San Salvador this week for my Mid-service medical check up, and next week will end with a mid-service site visit from my jefa Clelia.

I am so glad to feel, even (or especially) after a year, that I am still sure about why I chose to apply to Peace Corps, and I am still happy that I found myself in a country like El Salvador, the little thumb of Central America.

I can't imagine being here, and hating everything about the country, the culture, the lifestyle. If my outlook was permanently hazed and darkened by resentment, frustration and anxiety, I would be on the next flight back home. Period.

My experience has been unique, with plenty of bumps in the road and challenges along el camino. However, I don't live in fear, nor do I pretend to be a different version of myself, and I know that, while I may not have built a casa communal and my projects are a little low-key, I have done a pretty good job for a volunteer in a challenging first time site. So far.

My rough days are different now and are usually the result of restlessness, boredom and an impossible wish that the only hard part about a project was starting.

Here's to the next year!

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss

Well, It HAS been awhile...

Some Fellow COED/MUNI Volunteers with the Ambassadora of El Salvador. :)

Pinata /smash in heads time.

WEE! Fun for the whole family.

Looking up the princesses skirt.

Paper Savings Banks

My Como Planear Mi Vida group.

Amalia, during a headlice checking sesh. Hah.

Volcano Santa Ana, from Cerro Verde.